Now that my exams are over, I honestly don't know how to describe my feelings for it. I've been waiting for this day ever since the semester started bc right from the beginning I've been busy doing up assignments with a very short break before starting revision for exams.
This sem has been a whole journey of ups and downs because I realised that the amount of effort put in does not necessarily equal to results. And I mean it. I've been disappointed over and over again with myself bc of this.
I mean, I don't know if I'm lazy or if I'm just pure not fitted for school but it really sucks when you thought you've put in effort for things but your results say otherwise.
It just brings down your whole motivation level down rock bottom to the point where the only person whom you can confide in is only yourself, not anyone else. And you know you have to help yourself bc no one will help you if you don't help yourself.
Bottom line is, I don't know if I have helped myself enough this semester because now that even when exams are over, I am still having lingering thoughts within myself and if I have done enough for myself or not.
With the results I'm getting right now, I am really not hoping much. I just want to pass and scrape through this semester. I don't know, I keep wondering if I am ever fitted for school with the kind of attitude I am bringing around and I am just hoping that one day I find my answer.
I'm still feeling very regretful because I don't feel like I've done enough to help myself this time round. But I'm really tired of this and I'm tired of everything.
I'm not sure if I'm the only one struggling like this because I still feel VERY uneasy about two modules now that I'm done with my final exams. Honestly, I don't even know if I deserve a break for myself.
Sigh, I need to keep these thoughts out of my head but I'm scared, I'm really scared for my results.
I'm sorry to have poured out all of my negative feelings till the very end of this unnecessary post but I really needed to get this out. I am just praying for the best because I really need it so much and I'm seriously worried right now when I shouldn't even feel like this in the first place.
And to my three marketing good friends, all the best for your last paper tomorrow! You will be free after 1230 yay! 🙆🏼❤️