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31/12.

 

My 2015. My joys and my regrets.

2015, The final page of yet another chapter. This year hasn’t been an easy year of me, I shall say. For the first time, I experienced failure, new beginnings, happiness, sweetness of life, the satisfying feeling of putting a smile on another person’s face, the true value of a friendship, the gift of love that can never be bought with money and the very long wait for something I really hope for.

Thanks to 2015, I managed to experience my first ever university life, (legit) driving on the roads, gotten a driving license within 5 months, met someone in real life I know online (because I’m such a coward and I’m usually very scared to meet people I’ve never met), caught up with an old friend and got so much closer ever since then, attended many new religious classes which made me feel a lot closer to Allah (Alhamdulillah), explored many new (and old) museums here in my hometown, watched one of my closest friend enter a brand new stage of her life (motherhood!), made many many new precious friends, created a twitter account completely dedicated to my #othersideoflife, planned (and executed!) two midnight surprises for my favourite girls (and one of them even told us not to do this again next year HAHAHA), have a try at my first ever story and have it published and hey, I turned 21. Yay me!

There are too much ups and downs that I have quietly experienced this year to the point where I am thankful for every single blessing and meaning behind every single set backs. I’ve met the nicest of people in 2015 and I am way beyond blessed for their existence in my life. Through my happiest and my worse days, I am able to see the people who are always supporting me behind my back, telling me that it’s okay to fall, it’s okay to do something wrong and that it’s okay to cry. Within these short 12 months, I understand the value of the things around me because they  are always sending me words of encouragement and are always making my day without fail. It’s really the little things that count.

Despite all that, I am glad that with all the things happening around me this year, I came to realise the people whom I should treasure and keep in my prayers the most. I learnt that the closest people are not the ones who are asking me how my day was, what went wrong that day, how I was feeling, why did I skip my meal, what I am doing, how am I coping with my school work, how they can help me de-stress from school, what is on my mind that is keeping me awake till 4am and whatsnots. Instead, it’s the people that I had only known that never fails to ask me these questions, assuring me that I do have a listening ear who is willing to listen to my worries and complaints at the most insane times.

Sometimes the people whom you’ve just met knows you alot better than the people whom you’ve known for ages. It’s pretty sad, actually, to have wanted to share the same kind of joys and sorrows with the person you loved the most but never had the opportunity, because they never asked how you’re doing or never bothered to reply your messages at times. I guess it’s time to stay hidden within in that boundary because obviously, they would be too busy to care. It’s really time to look out of the window and look out for those who extends their hand for you, instead of waiting for the person whom you thought would willingly give you their hand.

On a side note, I’m ending my 365th day on my own again. But one thing I learnt while waiting for the right person to come is to always be thankful with what I have. There must be a reason why the right guy have not come knocking on my door yet. Maybe Allah wants me to keep improving myself, never stop hoping, do things with a sincere heart and always always be thankful for what I have. Ya Rabb.

Goodbye, 2015. You’ve been a memorable year for me. Hello, 2016. Please be nice to me.

 

Xx.

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30/12.

  
Everything in this world has its time and place, so be patient dear self. If you don’t get what you prayed for this year, you’ll probably get it in the future when the time is right.

Xx.

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28/12.

  
Smile, because there are so much beautiful things in life to smile about. Forget about the people who spoils your day, forget about the cancelled plans, forget about those who ignore you. Just smile, it will enlighten your day, because if you can’t be happy for yourself, then who will? 

Xx.

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24/12.

Instead of a boyfriend, can I have a friend who would travel and run around till the end of the world with me? Or atleast someone who wont get bored of hearing my baseless rants every single day without getting tired of it. 
Xx.